Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

My gut also tells me he may feel the same way I do. I often think he wishes he had done more to help save our marriage. Should I tell him how I feel?

Over the last two years, I have realized that I miss Paul and have hopes of us being together again. (He does not know this.) I have never disrespected his marriage or his current wife in any way. They have a unique relationship because they often spend time apart and travel to see their families without each other.

I have been divorced from my ex-husband, “Paul,” for 20 years. I never remarried. The divorce was mostly my fault because I was unfaithful. We never tried to save our marriage. He immediately started dating and remarried 18 months later.